Friday, March 30, 2007

pumpkinhead

PUMPKIN-HEAD

You’d never know by looking at her. I heard she teaches elementary school now. Perfect. School-marm always was her choice of image. She did have one breast that was a bit larger than the other, but I have never known that to be a reliable indicator of sadism. The first time I hooked up with her, I almost had to see a doctor afterwards. I had deep scratches on my back, neck and face I had a black eye from where she slammed my head into the side window of my car. I thought my dick needed a sling. My car suffered too. She managed to kick the rear view mirror off the windshield.

The going was rough but I had 2 friends that had dated her for awhile and they were still alive. So I thought I would carry on…and carry on we did. My sheets were stained with blood, there were scars behind my ears and my pubic hair was falling out.

I waited patiently for the conversation that I knew was coming. And then one day, it did. “what can I do for you?”

It was worth a try, so I jumped in..”hear me out, this is gonna sound really weird at first…”

“I’m intrigued. What have you got cooking?”

“ironic that you mention cooking. I want a small cube of your flesh. I want to cook in up in some angel hair pasta and olive oil. We can get a student from the medical school to take it out. They’ll know where you can spare a little flesh , and its such a small amount, the procedure should be easy…”

“ you’re right, it does sound ‘really weird,’ but, you know, it has imagination…gusto. I’m in!”

“awesome. I’ll go find us a med student and then I’ll go do some shopping at the gourmet shop on main street. You’re the best. I’ll call you later.”

It was good. A bit salty, but it definitely didn’t taste like fish.

Ah, college was such a long time ago. Last weekend, my teenage daughter told me she wanted to talk. My wife and I suspected she was sexually active, so I was expecting pregnant or herpes, but she said,”dad, mark and I have been having sex for a while now, and he’s been great to me, but he brought up something kinda weird the other day, and I was wondering if you had ever heard anything like it?”

“really, honey…what did he say?”

“well…he said he wanted a cube of my flesh, so he could mix it with some fruit and eat it…”

“hmm, that is a bit weird. What are you thinking about doing?”

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